Your Civic Doody.

But does the iPad have wings?

Steve Jobs.  Oh God.  What's happened to you?  You're... So... Small!  Look at that normal-sized iPhone in your tiny, tiny hands!  What has the experimental cancer therapy done to you?!?  SWEET BABY JESUS, YOU'RE A MONSTER!

Oh, wait, that's a what?

DEATH-PAC Presents: WALK IT OFF. (VIDEO)

DEATH-PAC takes on Blue Cross.

OMG, you guys.  It's a great day for profit.

My satirical Political Action Committee, DEATH-PAC, went to the Chicago headquarters of Blue Cross / Blue Shield today, to help defend the tiny, little, helpless corporation from the onslaught of progressive tyranny, MoveOn.org.

We set up a Self-Care clinic, available to anyone who has had their claim denied, or who had their coverage rescinded, because Blue Cross was working hard to maintain their sweet profit margin.  

Protecting rich people is the American Way.  And you can bet: when I'm super rich, I'm going to be really glad I was out there protesting against me getting health care.

Video rendering as we speak!  Wait for it... wait...

DEATH-PAC Celebrates 9/12: Health Care Protest in Chicago

DEATH-PAC member Keith Gatchel was in attendance at the rally in Millenium park.  He bravely showed up to fight against public health care, even though he continues his fight with gangreen brought on by a mostly successful home leg amputation.

We were able to help the anti healthcare protesters stay on message:  let's work to keep America's corporations healthy and long-lived.

Photos taken by DEATH-PAC member Pat Barry, who was too ill with typhoid fever to be in front of the camera.

It's Lord of the Rings and Batman versus Tiny Tim.  It's a double-metaprotest.  Except something tells me the Gandalf people are being serious.  The Joker people too.  

Look!  It's our Dickensian others:  The Billionaires for Wealthcare.

These are the sorts of photos you learn to avoid posing for when you graduate from the Teabaggers Academy.

DEATH-PAC Celebrates 9/12: national day of GETTING SERVED.

Yeah, America!  Cop a squat, patriots.  It's time for the teabagging.

Death-PAC is on!  We're coming to you live from Millenium Park in fabulous Chicago Illinois.  If you see someone passing out this flyer, you know it's us.  Hopefully I'll have some graphics for you soon.  In the meantime, here is our super-secret list of talking points.

• We all know what happened when the government started a public option for mailing letters.  It forced all the private mail companies out of business.  I was alive when Fed Ex put the post office out of business.  We can’t have that happen with health care. 

• We don’t want your health care.  Give us a spoon, some rubbing alcohol and a box of dental floss.  It’s good enough for number 36, it’s good enough for number 37.

• Okay, so our infant mortality rate is the same as Malaysia.  If you want to make an omelette, you’re going to have to break some babies.

• It’s like, every time I come out of the emergency room, I feel like a million bucks.  Literally.

Health Care Protest: Let the people speak! -- #4

In which we discover that somebody broke piggie's glasses.

Health Care Protest: Let the people speak! -- #3

A journalist only gets one chance at a scoop like this...

Health Care Protest: Let the people speak! -- #1

The people want to speak, god damnit! Let them speak! Civic TV let's them. It's me, Skokie, and the vox populi. It's a great day for DEATH-PAC, and a great day for the people.

More Obama - Joker weirdness.

... And another thing!  

It's easy to make fun of people who don't have the wherewithal to read the Wikipedia entry on Socialism in order to understand the concept.  You know what?  if you're and adult and haven't yet learned what Socialism actually means, you're probably the one who's going to benefit from it.

But the weirder and more scary thing is the adoption of the use of the Joker in those images.  We've learned that the Image originated from a Chicago college student who was stretching his Photoshop legs.  That's fine.  But conservatives have found this photo, and in some sort of desperate melee to raise up an image where Obama looks grotesque, have galvanized their whole anti-Obama movement around this photo of Obama as the Joker.

I'm not a Batman fan-girl.  I think I've seen all the movies, possibly once each.  There was the movie where Beetlejuice was Batman, and then one or two where Val Kilmer was Batman, and then Oceans' Batman, and then the two recent ones where Christian Bale reprised his role in American Psycho as Batman.  I would pay money to be hacked to death by Christian Bale.  Suss-sussudio!

The main thing I remember about Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight is that it was built like a Russian doll, with three beginnings and six endings.

The second thing I remember about the Dark Knight is that the Joker is the Libertarian of the movie.  He's the individual choice guy!  He does that whole ferry explosion, prisoner's dilemma stunt in order to prove to the City of Gotham that people are inherently selfish and will act in their own interests before others.  Even I can see that, and I only saw the movie once, between 2 and 5:30 in the morning.

If anyone is a Pinko in these movies, it's Batman.  Batman's all about the public option.  He never acts as a vigilante without the consent of the police department, and in the end sacrifices his own good name for the public good.  And in the first movie, Liam Neeson is all, "you have to destroy Gotham, Batman, because it's become filthy with human corruption," and Batman is all, "No, you can't sacrifice the majority just to save a minority, even if that majority is a bunch of ignorant dumb-fucks who wouldn't know what's good for them if it shot their parents in an alley."  

And then Liam Neeson is all, "I have to destroy Gotham anyway," and then Patrick Bateman is all, "I will defend the citizens' right to be ignorant and corrupt.  Because that is the greatest good for the greatest many."  Whoa there, comrade.

See, Batman is all about doing the dirty work that the public needs, but doesn't necessarily want.  Sound familiar, dumb-fucks?

Huffington Post: Don't Hate Whole Foods Because of Health Care... UPDATE

Very funny comment from a user today.  I posted their comment, and my response.  I can't believe you can copy and paste into a TypePad Blog.  Thanks, TypePad.  

lemuelhuer I'm a Fan of lemuelhuer permalink

So if I got this right, Whole Foods *used* to be cool because shopping there meant one could lord it over others. It even survived the Hipster Acknowledgment Clause, which states that the day after anyone realizes something is cool, it's not cool any more. But it caused a Slinky effect, and the normal hipness/lameness cycle experienced a violent contraction.

It's uncool to shop at Whole Foods because one of its employees expressed a political opinion (a lame one, so it should be hip, right?), but because so many people are talking about it, it's uncool to boycott Whole Foods on the basis of its CEO's lame (possibly hip) opinion, but those two things clash, so now shopping at Whole Foods is uncool because Whole Foods is simply lame.

Which is pretty ... hip? No, lame. Being lame is lame, right? Wait ... I'm so confused ... won't *someone* tell me what I should be doing?

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:32 AM on 08/19/2009

-Aemilia Scott 8 fans permalink

Assuming the Hipster Acknowledgment Clause, I would argue that Whole Foods didn't suffer from the slinky effect, contracting the hip/lame cycle abnormally. That would assume that the contraction of hip to lame time happened suddenly. 

Actually, the normal sine wave of hip to cool was somehow lengthened by the marketing and advertising of Whole Foods. So what seems to be a slinky effect is actually an adjustment. John Mackey was just the catalyst.

Currently, everyone wants to boycott WF, which makes it fail the HAC test, making it uncool. And yet becoming uncool does allow for re-adoption. And this article itself, having been put onto Alternet and enjoyed by other liberals, is now uncool. So forget everything you read. Completely lame. You, however, are hip.

But being hip does allow you a certain measure of lameness, and does afford you a high lame-to-hip ratio without seeming actually unhip. And in fact, the public effect of you incorporating so much lameness into your lifestyle and still seeming hip does often have the opposite effect, of making you seem extremely hip (i.e., American Apparel high wasted leggings, William F. Buckley Jr.)

So... Boycott. Or don't. Or alternate. Or talk about it, but don't do it. Or do it, but don't talk about it. See, now that I'm behind the hipness cycle, I'm no longer allowed to say what is hip or cool. That all happened in the space of me replying to your comment.

Aemilia

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:46 AM on 08/19/2009