Your Civic Doody.

More Chicago media agree: The Bible is right.

It's official.  Our co-protest with the Westboro Baptist Church went swimmingly.

Now if only the Westboro Church would ever read any of these venerable papers, maybe we'd be getting somewhere.

Time Out Chicago.

Gaper's Block.

Chicago Reader.

Best Church of God -- More Westboro Madness.

Believers,

Here is a small facebook album I made of some of the Best Church of God and its co-protest with the Westboro Baptist Church.  I tell ya... after that evening, I never slept so well in all my life.

Enjoy.

Best Church of God - Westboro Protest

Believers,

The BCOG had the great privelege today of assisting the Westboro Baptist Church, those righteous christians who spread their message of God's hate to the funerals of our enlisted servicemen.  They came to Chicago to protest, among others, noted Jew and stand-up comedian, Don Rickles.

Below you can find us protesting along side them, politely reminding them of the other commandments God has given us in that unquestionable work of fact, the Bible.  Think of it as a co-protest.  We're just there to keep everyone focused on God's message.  

100 percent Bible accuracy: can your church promise that for you?

Note:  I'm the one in the acid-washed hot pants.  The person whom I'm helping to better understand the Bible is the Westboro Church member.

From Left to Right:  Righteous, Righteouser, Righteousest.*  Andrew and Erica, spreading the Best Word.

I made those signs myself -- using the Bible, some paper, and the tool of Satan himself, Microsoft Word.  Sometimes, my loyal believers, Satan's own Word can be used against him.

Here's what the Westboro Church is missing.  Fact #1: Don Rickles is a Jew.  Jews notoriously love Bagels.  Bagels contain Yeast.  Yeast is proscribed over 40 times in the Bible. 

Fact #2:  Don Rickles is a senior citzien.  Senior citizens need a high-fiber diet.  Figs have the most fiber of any fresh fruit.  Therefore Don Rickles likely eats figs.  Jesus specifically condemned the fig tree in the bible because he was peckish and the tree didn't have any fruit on it.

Go in peace.

Aemilia

Yeast Protest video -- featured on Indieoma

Here is the Best Church of God Yeast Protest video I shot and edited. It was selected to be featured on indieoma.com -- a site that promotes interesting videos about interesting things.

Best Church of God -- Yeast Protest. from aemilia scott on Vimeo.

The Reverend Joy Phillips says: Proposition Great!

[Excerpted from The Reverend Dr. Joy Phillips' weekly advice column, "This I Know"] 

Woo! 

It has been quite a roller coaster over the last week. 

Of course, the Best Church of God only found out today that the Presidential Election went for Senator Obama, because we have spent the last month in an airless, lightless, medialess, rapture-ready bunker in northern Idaho. So let’s just say the arrival of this Dark Horseman was no surprise to us! 

However, in the horror of this last election there is one, tiny, ray of light. And I’m not talking about Madonna, you homosexual sympathizers. I’m talking about California’s Proposition 8. 

A reader writes: 

Dear Sisters and Brothers in Christ Almighty, After a quick morning prayer at my computer-which I do every time I open the internets to keep satanic influenced websites from attacking me- God lead me to your inspirational website which I found most inspiring. I have been busy here in California with the Proposition 8 campaign. 

Thanks to God and all our Christian & Mormon supporters, we raised millions of dollars for the campaign. God has prevailed over Satan and passed Prop 8, hallelujah, praise Jesus! 

As you know Prop 8 bans the unholy union of the homo***uals. (I can’t even say the word without getting nauseated.) But we are not stopping there! Our next step is to try to pass a law which mandates that all homo***uals be put to death, as that is what Our God Almighty has ordained in HIS Word, praise Jesus! Onward Christian soldiers marching as to war…!

*Leviticus 20:13*: “If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltiness is upon them. “—GOD. 

You’re the Best! Keep up our Lord’s work, Amen!Have a blessed day,Love in Christ Jesus, our Lord and Savior, from whom all blessing flow,

Bert 

Dear Bertrand,

I certainly agree with your support of Proposition 8, but I have to say that we here at The Best Church of God find your methods questionable. Most specifically, we reject Mormonism and all its adherents. In order to condemn one group of sex-obsessed crazies with great personal hygiene and multiple sexual partners, you are enlisting the support of another group of sex-obsessed crazies with great personal hygiene and multiple sexual partners? As the saying goes, let’s not throw the unborn baby out with the bath water. 

Mormons have a belief system that borders on madness. They believe that when they live a sinless life, they get a whole planet to rule over and share with all their multiple wives. Who would believe such fantasy? Why can’t they put aside their hallucinations and believe, like normal Christians do, that at the end of days there will be a golden throne surrounded by 24 other golden thrones, and the Evangelists will appear in the shape of animals that have eyes all over their bodies, and then Jesus will appear as a lamb on the throne with seven horns and seven eyes and bronze feet and a voice that sounds like a trumpet, and then he’ll open the first seal, and then four horses will pop out of it, and then the sun will turn black as ash, and the moon will turn to blood, and then the stars will fall out of the sky? (Rev. 2, 4) Someone should get some psychological help for those Mormons. 

So, while I personally approve of your outcome, we at the Best Church of God must condemn your concordance with a fringe religion. Rather, find support from other Fundamentalist Christians, who have never, in the history of human civilization, ever been considered a crazy fringe Religion by anyone. 

But Bert, if you are so moved by that you’d like to murder another person based on your assessment of their guilt, the BCOG has only one thing to say: Why stop at one? God condemns murder only a handful of times in the bible, and in fact the Good Lord himself was kind enough to murder over 100,000 lucky souls in the bible. As far as we know, there are no examples of God the Father or the Son experimenting with homosexuality (We are less sure about the Holy Spirit). But God most certainly experimented with Murder in the early years. 

In fact, we are so confident that God will punish homosexuals with eternal damnation, that we use homosexuality itself as the highest form of punishment here at the BCOG. Every time a congregant sins against Jesus – be it by eating yeast, or letting his wife speak in church, or wearing American Apparel’s new 40/20/20 blend T-Shirts – that sinner is condemned by Pastor Dave Shepherd into 24 hours of forced homosexuality. Then that person is sure to be punished by God Himself. 

One especially pious young man, Matthew Leppin, was condemned to homosexuality twice alone last week, and then to show his piety he volunteered to take another congregant’s punishment between Friday and Saturday night of that same week. Let our own flock be an example to yours. Hope this answered your question, Bert. 

God Bless, and keep fighting the Best* Fight. 

Reverend Dr. Joy Phillips