Oh no, the Obamas are *that* family.

From the Huffington Post on November 1:

President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama on Saturday doled out... dried fruit mixes to more than 2,000 trick-or-treaters.

 I distinctly remember Trick-or-Treating on my block, and dreading to go past *that* house.  The white house is *that* House.  The house where you'd get Fruit Leather instead of Butterfingers.  The house where you'd get raisins instead of Goobers.  The house where you'd get a fucking toothbrush instead of... No, I can't continue this parallel construction.  There is nothing that a toothbrush is like that reminds me of halloween.  Halloween is the opposite of toothbrush.

And this is coming from me, someone who has in her adult life had fruit leather more recently than Butterfingers.  My parents gave me fruit leather in my lunches.  I love Fruit Leather.  It's just that, Halloween is like Saturnalia for hippie kids.  One day a year you get to go from house to house and collect contraband, and take it back into your house, and for one week you have immunity against candy self-incrimination.

And yet, the Obamas handing out dried fruit really makes me feel like this country is headed in the right direction.  That is what's best for us.  Now is not the time for candy, citizens.  Now is the time for fruit.  We've had eight years of candy, and now we must get back to our goddamned hot yoga class and eat our fruit leather.  

Even though, if I were a little kid, I'd probably go over to Rush Limbaugh's house, because I hear he gives out full-sized Butterfingers.  

Comments

[Drew Thaler]

This post is full of win.

[aemilia scott]

Amazing. I understand all of the words, and it sounds like a compliment, but somehow the meaning eludes me. So therefore I accept it as a compliment.

Or wait, is this a hip reference the kids are using? Uh oh.

Aemilia Scott

www.aemiliascott.com

www.yourcivicdoody.com

[MELISSAMoody26]

I opine that to receive the home loans from banks you must present a firm motivation. But, once I have got a short term loan, because I was willing to buy a bike.

[Cheyenne]

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