Your Civic Doody.

Cast Away.

Today's best call from LA Casting:

Role	Role Type	Gender/Age/Ethnicities	Description/Note
FeMALE MODELS	Co-Star	Female / 18 to 34 / All Ethnicities	Beautiful Sexy Hot Fit Young Ladies who will appear in bikinis with a classic motorcycle in one month of this annual calendar. Fun easy short shoot. Submissions MUST include Good Clear CURRENT SwimSuit/ Lingerie BODY Shots for consideration! E'mail Subject Line MUST include Project Name and Model's Name!

Almost close to my favorite type of call:  "Heart of gold, girl next door type.  Warm, affectionate, loving, HOT BIKINI BODY.  Good actor."

You ask, Yahoo Answers. #3: iPhone!

Since I was thinking about the iPhone for my last jokey-post, I figured I'd dig my hands into the rich, black earth of popular wisdom:  Yahoo Answers.  

As always, these are real questions and real answers from the fountain of you: Yahoo Answers.

Does the iphone internet works exactly like the one on the computer?

I'm planning to buy an iPhone. But before i do that i need to find out if the iphone can view every website just like the one on the computer. Does Safari support all websites including JAVA and flash players. Can i view Youtube and pics and other videos on the Iphone using the interent website? One last thing how long does it take for a page to load?

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

Yes and Yes. The internet is the internet. Regardless of sign - on source.

Source(s):

No Comment

• 1 year ago

iPhone vulnerable to hackers?

According to Radio Revolutions, Two Ph.D. students in Berlin discovered that iPhones were vulnerable to attacks, and discovered a way that hackers could easily knock a victim's iPhone off a carrier's network.

Apparently, hackers cause the disruption by calling anyone's iPhone and trying to talk for longer than 10 seconds.

You ask, Yahoo Answers. #2

Hey America.  I can't get over this concept.  All relevant discussion is suspended for another installment.

Question:  

How can i learn to swim without a pool?
I don't know how to swim and I'm going to my friends pool party. The pool party is coming is coming soon, my pool isn't open yet, and my mom doesn't want to spend money on swimming lessons. Is there any way to train myself to swim? can i learn to swim without a pool?

Answer #1:

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

Yes, go to the beach or to a river to learn swim.

Answer #2:

You don't have to learn swimming. It's just a pool you know. But if you insist, try to search the net. But it's hard to learn swimming without a pool.

You ask, Yahoo Answers.

And now for the first installment of a new blog series I will call:

You Ask, Yahoo Answers. 

...until I come up with a more snazzy name.

In this I troll through the mores of the majority, the mindness of the masses, the platitudes of the plebicide: Yahoo Answers.  

All these posts are actual questions and actual answers from the actual compendium 

of commonality, answers.yahoo.com

QUESTION:

I think my tailbone is growing into my butt, and it hurts to poop?
I don't know whats going on. :( I'm going through puberty, and it hurts to poop. I've had a ton of blood twice already. It all started about a month or 2 ago.

ANSWER #1.

you could be going through your period or if it's coming from your butt then maybe your crap is to hard and pointy. that happened to me to, but after i had my period then it all went away. but i think you should tell your mom and see what she can do .(i doubt your tailbone is growing into your butt)

ANSWER #2.

Have you tried taking a laxative? There is a really good one you can find in health stores and pharmacies. it works well.
http://www.healthstore.uk.com/p172981/OR…

Also you should disinfect yourself down there if your bleeding to avoid an infection. Ask your pharmasist for a good disinfectants for sensitive areas. Also you could dilute chamomile tea and tea tree oil in a bath and just soak in there for a while.

News From China!  Quoth the New York Times:

On Monday, the Ministry of Culture issued a notice banning online games that feature Mafioso kingpins, marauding street gangs or any sort of hooliganism predisposed to organization.

Actually, that headline is only funny if you say it in the voice of someone who is 100 years old.  

Jizzum Schism.

The Episcopalian Church -- the American branch of the Anglican Communion, has accepted openly gay priests and has begun developing rites for same sex marriages.  This has ruffled the moustaches of the African and Latin American Anglican churches -- go figure -- and has led to serious discussion of schism. 

Archbishop Rowan Williams insisted that the issue should not be debated “in apocalyptic terms of schism and excommunication but plainly as what they are — two styles of being Anglican.”

Yes.  The one type of Anglican you are on Sundays in church, and the other type of Anglican you are on Mondays in a public bathroom.

Willful deception among the ranks:  It worked for the Army.  I'm sure it will go swimmingly for the Church.

Health Ledger.

Yeah, mothafuckas!  This health care battle just got RAW! 

The press was all, "what do you want?  It's wednesday at 8 PM!"  And Obama was all, "Sit the fuck down, lick on your pencils, and start taking this shit down, because I'm about to lay the statistics on this situation."  And then he was all like, "I'm negotiating the details of that in closed sessions!"  And then he was all, "I'm keeping a solid deadline for effective strategizing and good compromise."  And then he was like, "Cleveland."  Aw.  Shit.

Too bad the best moment of the night was not even about heath care.  Obviously Mr. President isn't at liberty to say much.  So when he was asked the question about Henry Louis Gates and racial profiling, he implied that he still wears a name tag when we walks around the grounds at night.  Hilarious, incisive, sad:  the best Presidential joke yet.

OPERATOR:  911.  What is your Emergency?

CALLER:  Yes.  I'd like to report a robbery in progress.

OPERATOR:  Is it your house being robbed, sir?

CALLER:  No.  Someone is breaking into my neighbor's house.

OPERATOR:  Can you describe the person?

CALLER:  Yes.  They're tall, and... they have dark skin.

OPERATOR:  Anything else?

CALLER:  They're large.

OPERATOR:  Okay.  What is the address of the house being broken into?

CALLER:  1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.  

Ju-Ju-Jupiter.

This morning, an amateur astronomer discovered that Jupiter has a new, large spot on its face that is the size of earth.  Scientists at NASA's Jet Propulsion laboratory responded to the discovery of the new spot by saying, "We'll see how good you look when you're 4.5 Billion years old."

AY YO!

But seriously folks... three cheers for Amateur Astronomers.  NASA has built telescopes the size of buildings, but people still pull that reflector out and just stare out into the night sky.  In the article, this guy was just like, "well, I was trying to figure out whether I was gonna watch cricket or look at Jupiter.  I picked Jupiter."  Why isn't he working for CERN?

Hand Insanitizer.

Okay.  Everyone fucking stop.  Everyone stop, and chill the fuck out.  America, I need you to be real cool for me right now, you hear?  Real cool.

I know you don't have a job.  I know you don't have a house.  I know you don't have health insurance.  Neither do I.  But for the love of God, germs are not the problem.  CNN, neurotically avoiding the international panic in Iran and Afghanistan and China, and having squeezed every single drop of life out of the Michael Jackson story, now has turned its worried eye onto:  germs.  In particular, the germiest vacation spots in the world.

Can you call a national character OCD? Can you say America has officially become a hand-washer?  Do you think other countries are looking at our obsession with hand sanitizers and antibacterial wipes and H1N1, and thinking to themselves that we look like kooks?  They probably see that the real problem with America is that we live under an overpass, but we are absolutely convinced it's all the bugs on our skin.

Look, Mexico, it's not that we think you're dirty.  It's just that we've been touching each other for literally millions of years, and I would just feel more comfortable if I could cover the Grand Canyon with this tin foil I'm collecting, because that way the other countries won't get inside our minds and put the germs inside our minds.  Our minds.