Your Civic Doody.

Is There Life On Hollywood Boulevard?

Sometimes a good irony is like a slap in the face with an ice-cold glove -- it hurts like hell, but it really wakes you up. Such is my short lived, rocky relationship with the Series Life on Mars, originally aired on the BBC and now being remade for American audiences on ABC.

I am in love with the BBC series. And most screenwriters are like scorned lovers in that we do not fall in love easily. The more we are hurt, the less we have the capacity to love. But hello, my heart sings for Life on Mars.

And then comes the irony. A show named after David Bowie's classic anthem about media culture and escapism is being remade by ABC, and has been run through the grinder and come out a sexed-up, hollowed-out, sucked-dry pettifour of a show that looks like a supermodel but walks like a zombie.

Is my anger justified? Maybe I should just go back to my espresso-drinking, can-sorting, antiquarian lifestyle as president and sole member of Socialist Screenwriters for Amerika? Maybe. But before judgements are passed by all you Dick Wolfes in Sheep's clothing out there, let's try a real scientific experiment.

Here is the BBC Teaser:

And Here, the ABC Trailer:

But wait, there's more! Here is the original cast photo:

And here is the ABC cast photo:

...before the show was recast with Harvey Keitel, moved the show to NYC and reshot the pilot.

I can't seem to find any photos on line of Keitel as Gene Hunt. Recasting at this late hour has the feel of a Stalinist purge -- Keitel was always Gene Hunt, we at ABC have no record of Colm Meaney ever being considered for the role.

My only hope is that the recasting and reshooting of the pilot was to make it more ambiguous, more gritty, less polished. If that's the case, bless them and the work they're doing. I'm not holding my breath.

BREAKING NEWS: People are generally more retarded than even they believe themselves to be.

From a very interesting article I just read on Salon dot com about psychological studies that show a positive correlation between a person's lack of critical aptitude and a personal sense of certainty or rightness:

Ironically, the acknowledgment of intellectual limitations may be the best evidence for superior decision-making skills. Contrary to George Bush's belief, we do not want certainty in the White House. We want flexibility and an acknowledgment that certainty is often a sign of ignorance.

The author then understandably laments that the current electoral machine in America leaves little or no room for the socratic musings of a real Philosopher King.

Ideally, I would like to put the candidates through a series of tests similar to those given to the Cornell undergraduates. The candidates would be given questions, including a variety of "thought experiments" for which they could not be prepared in advance. Then we could see their thought processes in action. We would have a better idea of how they reasoned and whether they rely on gut feelings and instincts. We could see their ability to step back from their own answers to judge their quality and accuracy.

The only thing more absurd than looking for a leader who is blindly confidant and foolishly certain is assuming that either candidate wants to be objectively judged based on their ability. The presidential election is about marketing and brand equity, and until the money is nationalized or the media coverage is nationalized, this process is never, ever going to be about choosing a superior candidate.

That's like asking Honda to voluntarily submit to a third-party comparison study with Toyota. Or Coke and Pepsi. or Bud and Miller. Ever notice how these ads never describe their products, except saying how refreshing or great they are? Because facts don't sell a product. Sensation sells a product. This is why McCain can be factually wrong, but still feel a bounce in the Polls. Because he has struck a chord with some very scared Americans out there.

Obama is right on the issues. Notice how well that strategy is going for him. "Bud Lite: Different from Miller Light in the following eight ways: ..." Yep. Marketing Genius.

To win in eight weeks, he's gonna have to sell America the Obama lifestyle. That's something we can use to win.

DIY Soundproof Booth.

Ever wondered how to get a professional sounding audio recording for only 40 USD? Well, wonder no longer, fair readers. I've completed my very first DIY photo blog, courtesy of desperation and TypePad.

DIY Soundproof Booth Instructainment Photo Serial!

Where religion and madness intersect.

Here's where it happened, everybody! Although I wouldn't doubt this little fellow has talked to God more than his Pastor.

Ska for Jesus.

I don't know what to say. It's like, I want to get angry at God for this. But without faith in God, youtube would not be nearly as funny as it is today.

Baby Trigonometry.

Okay. Sarah Palin's named her newest baby Trig. Not surprising, considering the names of her other kids: Bristol, River, Stack, Jeff, Stouffer, Rib, Any, and Labia.

But Trig?

The condition of Down's Syndrome is genetically interesting: it occurs when, during the first stage of meiosis after conception, a chromosomal crossover doesn't happen completely for some portion of chromosome number 21. This is called a nondisjunction event. It is the only chromosomal disorder (baring sex chromosomal disorders) resulting in an embryo that can survive to term. Fun fact!

So, someone with Down's Syndrome has three copies of a chromosome where there should be only two. Three. Trig. Three. It's like having a baby with Jaundice, and naming it Yellow.

Uppity, Uppity and Away.

Today's reason to lift my house off its foundation and transport it North, placing it 10 feet inside the Canadian border.

From CNN's Ticker.

Republican Rep. Lynn Westmoreland was unaware a word he used to describe Barack and Michelle Obama on Thursday carries racial overtones, a spokesman for the congressman told CNN.

Westmoreland, who represents Georgia's third district, described the Obamas as "uppity" when asked by reporters in Washington to compare Repubican vice presidential canidate Sarah Palin with the wife of the Democratic presidential candidate.

“Just from what little I’ve seen of her and Mr. Obama, Sen. Obama, they’re a member of an elitist-class individual that thinks that they’re uppity,” Westmoreland said, according to the Capitol Hill Newspaper the Hill.

Westmoreland's spokesman, Brian Robinson, insisted the congressman did not know the word has been used with a racially derogatory intent against African-Americans.

"Sure, he can run for President. But does he have to be so -- I don't know -- militant about it? You know? I mean, I interact with African Americans every day. In my kitchen, in my elevator, in the part of Atlanta I drive through to get to work... but there's just something about an African American talking all that Harvard Talk. I just don't know."